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Relationships & Priorities

Finding Mr or Mrs Right4u

With so many clients that I read for it is amazing how many seem to struggle with moving forward from a past relationship, and I can completely understand because I myself have been there.

However, moving on is possible, but firstly you need to give yourself permission to have time, time to heal the wounds and time to recover who you really are as an individual. Sometimes, time can take months, and/or years. What you need to understand is that if you’re holding on to the past it’s possible that you’ve lost your identity in that relationship and forgotten the person you were.

Of course you will always change, whether you choose to or not, but is it a healthy change or a negative one? If you had a toxic relationship and still want that relationship back, then it’s negative. It means you’re too insecure to invest in a new relationship. It’s a case of ‘Better the Devil you know’. But I’ve never known the Devil to be a good person. And then there’s the cop-out ‘I can do a lot worse’. If you feel that something isn’t going good and both people are not inclined to work on it then it will never be good enough. And you will continue to go around in circles meeting. Only those who you will say I could do worse. Be careful of your choice of words Because you are manifesting them.

Many, often feel that time is of the essence that they have to find someone straight away, or they’re going to miss that biological clock, or they’re just gonna be left alone. If you have that attitude, you will find yourself settling for people who are just not right for you all because you feared you’d miss out. The last thing you want is to have a baby only to end up a few months down the track being deserted because you simply were not compatible to begin with. or finding yourself rushing into a relationship because you are scared of being alone, only to find yourself a victim of domestic violence or worse.

I’ve decided that it’s time to put together a priorities menu and out of this menu your task is to write down the top 10 most important to you.

Be honest with yourself, because this is going to identify to you who you really are, and what you prioritise in your life as most important to least important. Then, when you meet somebody, you can challenge them to write out of those words in the menu, their top 10 most important to least important priorities. If this person matches yours, you are a perfect match. If they don’t, you will know the type of personality you are getting yourself involved with.

Be aware...

Many will automatically assume that you would expect them to write certain things as a top priority. Many, who are only after one thing will guess what you want. They often think Family is number one for women or devotion. And not saying it isn't, but these things don't define who we are but where we place our values, but don’t be surprised if they put the predictable ones first as their top priorities.

Now this doesn’t mean that because they do , they are inclined to be just simply putting what you expect them to put so they  get with you on your good side, or to put a blunt, in your pants.

But what do you need to pay attention to most of all, are the priorities that follow. The next 7 that follow the top 3 priorities are going to tell you more about that person as an individual this will share more than they think. Almost at a glance you'll be surprised to discover the insecurities, vulnerability's or narcissism they have. Always keep your list on you. And keep the random words below on you as well. And every few months it wouldn't hurt to revisit the priorities as for many they may change. It's in seeing these changes you can get a better understanding of where the relationship is going and where it needs work or abandonment.

You can even create two lists of
Based on the list and select the top 5 in each.

I recommend saving this in your phone, or simply write out the list on a piece of paper in your purse or wallet and when you meet somebody just ask them to select their top 10 priorities from the list of things that they seek out of a relationship and then compare it to your list.

If all match up or the majority do then you have met your person. If they have added things that interest you then maybe that is something you both can work on together. But as previously mentioned, you might discover some red flags you might not have noticed before.

Are you ready? Here are the words, you can add your own to the list.

Trust, sex, family, Money, love, friends, work, Home, nightclubs/pubs, marriage, relaxing, relationship, independence, control, privacy, children, security, happiness, openness, devotion, commitment, luxury, drugs/alcohol, property, designer labels, intimacy, bondage, porn, freedom, relationships, socialising, relatives, appearances, looks, communication, affection, planning, activities, eating out, eating in, hobbies, cars, empathy, pets, talking, long drives, beach, outdoors.

𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝒷𝓁ℯ𝓈𝓈ℯ𝒹🙏🌹

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I think this is a great idea, Karen!

Very wise advice.🌹🙏

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